It all began a couple of Fridays ago - Friday 11th June. I had the day off to pop into town and go to the family planning clinic. To get a vasectomy.
I went into see the doctor who would be doing the surgery. She explained what was to happen and what I was to expect before, during and post op. Then I was called into the de-manning booth. I got undressed and sat on the bed which turned into the operating theater table. They put some green sheet over me and set about with the procedure. The worst bit was supposed to be the stinging of the local anesthetic as they stuck the needle into the scrotum and injected it in. It didn't sting but was more of an itch. So that was OK., They then set about with the keyhole surgery. Hunting down the vas to chop was fine but the local didn't take effect that quick so putting on the clamp was a bit of a pinch. OUCH! I had some more local and then I was fine and felt nothing. I wasn't really watching but I suppose I could have done. They clamp it up and then cut out a section and then weld the tubes shut with a hot iron. Thankfully no nerves were around at the time of welding. The smell was a bit off putting though. They also sew it up somewhere inside with disolvable stitching. All in all a very simple and quick procedure. 45 mins. They leave the opening to the scrotum open for it to heal up all by itself. No stitches. Quite interesting I thought.
I was hoping to go past the tyre place to get my wheels balanced on my car and past the Jaguar dealer so I could get a spare key cut as I had been meaning to do this since Feb when I got the car. Unfortunately the doc said straight home. So I did and saw out the afternoon sitting in front of the fire with a small pack of frozen corn (peas are overrated) to cool things down and reduce swelling. Paracetamol was the drug of choice for pain relief.
I was to avoid anything of any nature which could affect the wounds and weak spots. Like heavy lifting for instance.
So I went a week without putting any strain on them and suddenly out of the blue, on Saturday (18th June) morning I started to feel pain. Nothing too bad but as the day went on it got worse until I was waddling around. There was also a largish lump growing on the left side. The pain was as if someone had kicked me down there. Lying down was relief. but standing seemed to bring on the pain. So I left it at that. On Saturday night I felt like I had a temperature. I had paracetamol throughout the day paracetamol but that didn't seem to get rid of the pain or my headache either. I slept a rather restless night. In the morning it felt better. I didn't feel hot and things looked like they were picking up but the afternoon came in and it started to hurt more. So I went into Christchurch to the closest after hours clinic (45kms away) and saw Doctor James (Jim?) Broadbent. He had a poke and a prod and then prescribed me paracetamol, codeine, augmentin (antibiotic) and voltaren and told me to go back on Monday to the Family Planning Clinic to discuss it with them. I took the latter 3 when I got back to the car. By the early evening I wasn't feeling anything as painful as I once was. Things were looking up. I took some more of what I was supposed to in the early evening and went to bed about 21:30. 1 hour later I awoke, feeling like it had been a whole night. My hands started to itch and my stomach was really sore. I went to the toilet and whilst I had diarrhea my feet started to itch, my arms got a rash and my chest felt tight. I didn't like where this was going. After an hour of this the itching started to subside and I turned to Professor Google and searched for the voltaren and the augmentin and their side effects. Sure enough, it could have been either. So I phoned the healthline (0800 611116) and got a real professionals' answer. They basically said that if things don't get worse, then I should be OK but go to my GP in the morning.
Monday morning I felt fine. A little pain but not much really. I took a codeine had a couple of cups of tea and went into see someone at the Family Planning clinic.They saw me pretty much straight away. Checked it all over. The doctor that did the operation then poked and prodded and then told me not to have the drugs. Well I wasn't for a start. She then got me a place to see the urologist at CHC hospital. I went over to the hospital. With all the earthquakes that have gone one, the parking building over the road was closed and you could part in the tiny teenie tiny car park in the hospital grounds. Well, they were all take weren't they. In the end I drive to the Jaguar dealer and asked if I could get my new key. I would have to leave my car there all day. They were fine with that so a 5 minute walk to the hospital and I was in. I got a gown on and was seen very quickly. Everything seemed to be great and very smooth running...booking in, getting a room in the emergency ward, getting a line put into me just in case they needed to stick me full of antibiotics and such but then the doctors came involved. After some poking and prodding and telling the same story I'm telling you to about 5 different people I was told about 11:00 that I would get an ultrasound scan. At 14:00. So I cancelled a very important meeting I was to attend at work. I was hoping to have been out of there by lunch. So tum-ti-tum, some drumming of fingers, listening to AIOTM (aiotm) and The Now Show, I was taken up to get an ultrasound scan. It's a boy! After that things picked up speed again. The doctor came in and said that I was fine. The lump in my scrotum was a blood clot and would go away in time (weeks to months). They would give me some other antibiotics but I was to watch and be careful and notice anything untoward (you betcha matey!) and to see them again if need be. By about 16:00 I was outa there to pick up my car and then see a woman about One of Jamie's problems.
So with hindsight, would I have a vasectomy? Yep. It was probably lifting some firewood. Although not heavy really, it was probably a little too much for my boys to cope with. Anyone out there thinking of having one. Just take care. The information I was given said 3-4 days. I think it should be more than that to be on the safe side. Sit on the couch with your feet up for at least a month and be treated like a King.
2 good things came out of this though. 1. I got a second and spare key for my Jaguar. 2. The dealer also washes the car and it really needed one. :-) Of course it's raining and the roads I take are full of cow muck so it's probably dirty as a dirty thing again.
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