Audrey Yates 1968 - 2010

Please note that this blog explains the events up to Audrey's death. It's not nice to write and I expect, therefore, not nice to read. Why am I writing this? Partially to keep a record the events that occurred. Partially to let those that don't know what happened but also I hope as some form of therapy to help me through these sad and difficult times. It might drag on a bit too.
On Sunday about 19:30, Audrey went to bed. It was not an unusual time for her. At 20:00 I popped in to see how Audrey was. I then noticed that she has sick down her front. I asked her if she was alright and what was wrong. I then noticed that her hands and arms were moving in a distinctly seizure fashion. I called out to Audrey to see if she would respond. When she didn't I started to get worried. Audrey then went into another round of vomiting and gurgling. I threw her laptop out of the way and dragged her off the bed onto the floor and turned her over into some form of recovery position to keep her airways clear. I called to her constantly. I got up and phoned Audrey's mum, Esther, and told her to come up as there is something wrong with Audrey. I then phoned the emergency services and the ambulance was despatched. They arrived promptly and started what they do. I answered their immediate questions regarding medication Audrey was taking and timeline and the like. When they did a pupil dilation test there was no response. I felt perhaps rather than a fit, Audrey had a stroke. They got her on a stretcher and into the ambulance and I followed them into town. We stopped just before the Selwyn river bridge where we met another ambulance with paramedics who had more experience and were able to administer a wider variety of drugs to Audrey.
We got to Christchurch hospital and took Audrey into the Emergency dept. When I got there they took me through and told me what was happening and that Audrey was very sick and they'll take her to get a brain scan later once they had stabilised her.
Once stabilised and done the scans she was taken to the Intensive care unit. I was told to get the rest of the family in as it was serious, so I phoned Esther who came in with Russell (brother) and Dyane (sister) also came. Phil, the other brother was in Auckland so could not come in until the next day anyway. Jamie and Bees were at home with Cousin Amy and her partner Ian looking after them.
We finally went in to see Audrey. She had the usual tubes to help her breathe and to monitor her vital signs. We were then shown the CT scans of her brain. The area affected was huge. If anyone would like to see these, I have a copy.
At about 03:00 after realising the worst, that Audrey would either not survive or if she did, that she would not be anything like herself anymore, I had to get out of the hospital and see Jamie and Bees. I went home.
In the morning we went back into town with the kids to see Audrey and see what could be done. There was a lot of waiting around for the whole family. We were allowed to see her and wander back and forth. The Doctor (Dr. David Bowie) said that there were tests that they do. 2 rounds of tests, of which Esther and I watched the first. The second round performed twice by separate doctors. If any of the tests were positive then they look further into what they can do. Dr. David Bowie did the tests and told us said that all the results came back negative and there was no brain response at all from Audrey. At 16:30 on Monday, by law, Audrey was pronounced dead.
To me, I believe Audrey died at home or on the way to the hospital and died on the Sunday. It was quick for sure, with the seizure causing her to black out. I like to think she would not have felt any pain.
As I wandered around Hagley Park next to the hospital when they were doing the second set of tests, I saw everyone going about their business, it really told me the world still turns. Life goes on. It also said to me at that point that how can such an insignificant event in the grand scheme of thing mean so much, until I realized that I too am insignificant and us insignificant events need to stick together if we are to mean anything.
Jamie and Bees seemed to take it relatively ok. Whatever ok is. Jamie blocked his ears when we talked to him about Audrey not just being very sick but that she will die. He didn't want to believe it. He was very reluctant to say goodbye to Audrey. Quite understandably so. Bees was looking to help everyone through these difficult times.
It was at least comforting that as Audrey lay there, she just looked as though she was sleeping, the machine doing the work of keeping her body alive. That helped the children say goodbye, feeling like she was sleeping.
So now I look to the future. A life with Audrey only in our hearts and minds. A life with 2 children that need me to be there for them now more than ever.
I have told some people this, and thankfully followed it too long before Audrey's death. Give everyone in your family a hug and think of each moment you spend with them as a gift and when you kiss your partner, kiss them like it's the first kiss... and the last.
Audrey died at aged 42 and for me at least, she was my answer to life, the universe and everything.
Audrey, you will forever be in my heart. I will never forget the wonderful times we shared and the 2 beautiful children you gave life to. I love you. Love you always Audrey. Night night sweetie.